Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
