yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
