I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
