i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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