Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
