Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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