You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
