i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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