the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
