You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
