My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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