It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
