You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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