I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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