i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
