In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize