mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
