I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
