how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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