that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
operation harelip BJ is a go
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
