After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
