when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
