How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize