My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
