Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
