Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
