when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
