it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
