Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
