i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
