let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
