Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You made out with two different species that night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
