you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
