I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
