I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let's get the cat blown out
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize