never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
