i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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