im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
