i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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