you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
