Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Terrible idea I love it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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