During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
