just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
