We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
