Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
