Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
