Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
