Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
be right there i have to get my cape
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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