Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
