The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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