My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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