I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
