I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
