I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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