how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
