Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
