you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want her autograph on my taint
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
