he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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