Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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