Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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