Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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